I can safly say Iv finally stopped feeling so abnormal, and once more feel full of life,  listing to dragon force suddenly give u a right kick and sure makes ya want to start thronging ur sen around the room… only you then fall through the walls, and I do think my parents would appreciate me jumping through the wall at this hour of night, or any hour really, but Id just love to see their looks on their faces if I just jumped through the wall, singing along to dragon force… which I best stop that, they get a bit grumpy when I start “waling” out loud in the night, though I do tell them I do not wail, I mealy rumble… lol. I’m proud of my fairly deep German style singing, though im even more proud of my high pitched girly scream, which I can proudly say is still higher than every lass Iv screamed in front off.… Don’t ask me how I change it that much though; it must be one of my new found talents.

 I don’t know why the power of dragon force has brought my strange mentality out again, it must be something to do with the head banging, which I fail at miserably, instead whacking my head on the dam computer monitor while righting - pretty painful, but strangely fun, but not quite as much fun as then sitting up and staring round the room like a rabbit, before once more slumping over my key bored unconscious… aint life brill!!!  Lol
I can still tell though, sat hear that theirs something else that’s yet again making me happy, something that only a few days ago had me sad, and not up to my usual self, but now Iv simply taken time to pull myself to gather and get on with life, and this new found inspiration (together with the rhythmic head butting of the monitor…. This is starting to give me a headacke. .. aww that really is hurting now) has giving me a hole new look upon this. I will not say much more about this though, as even though im drowning my brain with all the thought going though It I do think ill shall go into this though, as I still ned to think about this…. Although I must say straight away this is nothing to do with anything gay, as after last weekend I have had a hell of a lot of stick about being gay – which I am most certainly not!

 The incidents on Saturday night, which crocket delighted in telling Joe, and thus being spread around the entire school, as well as getting to my mum, where not the way half of the peeps at school received them, in fact nothing even happened,  it just looked like it, which is bad enough for some trying make a point that their not gay – pretty hard when their own brother bats that way, and when events like that get out.
At this point though I would just like to emphasise the point that im not gay, but a single, straight male ;)

 
Ok, now this is a rarity, a sad, non crazy DragonForce song… its sure different to the rest and is  now proceeding to make me more subdued, as its sort of sending out waves of sadness, and reminding me of what iv been seeking for so long now, and what I hope to one day achieve  :)

 
Ahh.. much better, “Through the fie and flames” now I can truly pick myself up, and go to bed in a happy mood, full of optimism once more, no time to think about things I should of done, just time to think about what I can do  :D