Once mroe i have made the desicion to return, and once more i have made the desicion to restrain my self in my blogging, taking the deep and meaningfull truths of my soal and trapping them in the eternal binding sof ink and paper. (lol, sorry becoming a bit "sober" minded tonight, what i realy mean is that iv just been watching A knights tale on my comp, and using my icl blue workbook to wright my more "unrestreind" blog. Oh yeh and a little news - i found out that my "unseen" blog was attuchly discoverd, sigh. Thankfully though i dont think the reader quite realised whome such wrightings wher about, so all is gooooood :D )

Well, i sence that a numnber of you may be expressing an intrest in what it is that i have now condemed to righting, and chosen not to publish. well tough - its geting late, iv been working flat out most of the past few weeks so i need to get me sen a rest, i aint typing up everything i wright down, because i feel that although i need to reliase such feelings, this is not the place nore the time to do so - for what good could such posably do?

Anyway, i feel that i should at least leave something of tonight - as i canot keep leaving nothing but curiosty in the air. So from my part i will leave you with the siple comclusion that i have finaly reached - The conclusion that their is no conclusion, as what never began can never be concluded - jsut the same as what is burried is never forgon, nor truley burried, for that is how it always been and no mater how much logic nor conviction one can throughs at such the orignal emotions canot be hidden for too long.

Any ways, now iv proberly jsut confused the feck out of ya all ill put something much more light hearted in - as some very kind freind provided you all with tonights entertaiment, something which my mind dosent seem to want to produce - so withoguh further ado ill go c/p it in......

And I know this has nothing to do with what im writing about but my good friend Tom thinks and I quote "PORNO ROCKS". He said this because many men find hours of plesure during the long lonely nights when they dont have a loved one eg girlfriend not mother etc cos thats sick. But the gay porn and is wrong because its got two guys placing things where they shouldnt makes me sick. BUT lesbian porn is good

Well, what elce can i add to that - tom obivously knows what he's tlking bout - prhaps you should start a buisness tom ? u alredy a gd photographer ;) lmao

anyways, me thinks me going to go to bed, iv cleared my mind once more - athough i know it wont last ("it jsut wont quit" - meatloaf) it will at least give me a few more days of sanity - yay :D ahh well, now its time for you fools to sho and leave me be, go on sho ya pessents......

Right old chap then, on with the show once more. and how be all you readers, i hope you are all truly prepared (yes, that probberly does include the use of straight jacket and padded room - they are offten adviasable when i begain to rant, although i tend not to go off at such a tangent nowadays, cos my mind is slightly mroe stable than previously (yes, you may laff thier but after last night i can continue to focus once more). spech ater the coffe (well, prooberly more likly the cider but ya know what i mean) for another one of my masterpice's ?

well then, wher shall i begin? their are the issues that i coverd in last nights "unseen" blog but i wont be going into them. So ill gues ill start at a random unfixed point in time. How about last tuesday? ok then, well waht was i doing last tuesday, well let me tell you what i was doing last tuesday¬ you see it began like this.... nah, crnt be arsed. involves too much creative narative - and im too ingrosed in removing last ngihts blog witch for god knows what reason i did atuchly publish. im now stuck trying to remoe it amd all its traces fromt he face of the earth, while leaing it depily burried in the deaps of cyber space. oh well - ill gues ill begger of for tonight, iv become engrosed once more in reading - and my books geting good so good ridence you pesent like people!

Right, let me set a small seen for you all. Picture this * wibly wobly wooo * (yeh, that's erm the sort of bit where ya know you look up to the right (or the left if ya prefer. whatever tickles ya fancy to be honest, am nt fussed) and you go into this weird trace and imagine what am about to picture for ya. gt that? right well i suppose ill go on then, don't want to leave ya stuck in the imagination pose, ya might strain ya neck, n i couldn't be doing that to my readers now could i? yeh, anyway on with the show, well - atuchly ill skip the hole picture this bit, it was only for narrative purposes and well... oh ok its just crnt be rsed any more so ill start making more seance - i suppose.

Well, as you wil have properly realised by now i have turned once more to my blog site to express myself a bit more. And for once not just in my usual crazy demented self, for although i am incredibility high off coffee at the moment (yeah, iv finely fallen back into drinking that goddess of all drinks!) i feel slightly low for once, and im begging to realise that its no surprise relay - as even with the amount i suppress virtually all of my emotions of other than happiness or enjoyment, that they will catch up with me at some point. so why turn hear, well because as i have found previously putting your feelings into writing (even if i don't upload this, or wake up in the morning and dealt it from my site) provides such a wonderful relief for them, and allows me to leave them behind once more without a care in the world, and with any look to help me sort out my fucked up sleeping patterns that are driving me as crazy as i currently am!